THE PHANTOM DOGSLED

A Poetry COMBAT MANUAL

There are three very good reasons why poetry is one of the hardest subjects to teach to young people. First, students have absolutely no idea why they are learning poetry. Second, teachers believe they are teaching literature. Third, neither the teacher nor the student can make any link between poetry and the real world.

Every one of these shortcomings can be overcome. In fact, that is why this Teacher’s Manual is being written. This is a one-week combat manual for using a poem to illustrate the three most important reasons for a student to learn poetry – and what the teacher can do to make poetry a vibrant, real world educational skill.

What not to say

First and most important, do not tell students that they are learning poetry to understand the beauty of the language. Yes, that is a true statement and has meaning to college students who choose to take poetry, but most junior high and high school students are assigned poetry classes.

Second, do not tell junior high school and high school students that ‘someday you will see the purpose of poetry.’ They won’t believe you and most of them have parents whose idea of poetry is “The Night Before Christmas” or “The Cat in the Hat.”

Third, don’t talk about the beauty of expressing a complex idea simply. Unfortunately, most junior high and high school students – along with too many college graduates, parents and professionals – don’t read that much at all. This is not to say that they are illiterate. Rather, they are more interested in reading for the basic facts than any subtlety. We are in an age of instant information and that means more than instant gratification. It means instant information. The average Internet user is not going to wait two minutes for a page to load. If it does not come up immediately, the surfer is gone.

What to say

TIME IS MONEY

On February 1, 2008 , 97.5 million people watched the Superbowl. Not only did they see the football game, but they saw the best advertisements of the year. They should have! A 30-second spot on the Superbowl sold for $3 million. For 30 seconds!

When someone writes a 30-second advertisement to be seen by 97.5 million people in a 30-second time slot that costs $30 million, the wording has to be PERFECT. Not close to perfect or almost perfect. PERFECT. Every word has to count. Every extra word has to be eliminated.

The reason students are taking poetry classes now is to learn how to reduce a sentence with ten words to one with five words and, at the same time, enhancing the message. Poetry teaches you economy of words. By reading the best poetry, students can see how poet jettison the almost-right words for the perfect words because, as Mark Twain once noted, the difference between the almost-right word and the right word is the same as the difference between the lighting bug and the lightning bolt.

Further, if students have a hard time understanding the concept of a Superbowl advertisement, ask them to name the most successful poets in America . After you get blank stares, tell them Michael Jackson or Madonna or whoever is ‘hot’ in the music business. Once again, time in money. A singer has a very narrow window of opportunity to get his/her message across. The difference between a successful record and an unsuccessful record is millions and millions and millions of dollars.

TIMING IS EVERYTHING

Classes in poetry are designed to do more than teach you to find and use the right word. They also teach you timing. Timing is a critical people skill. But it is not something that you are born with. It is something you develop. Yes, of course, there are some people who are born with great timing. But great timing can be learned.

A good example of bad timing is someone who cannot tell a joke. They just cannot ‘get it out.’ Or they stumble over the lead-up which gives the listener a shot at guessing the punch line.

Timing is a critical, real world skill because it forces you to see the world as it really is; not as you want it to be.

Even more important, it teaches you the greatest communication skill there is: to think backwards. Great poems, great speeches, great novels and great movies all have one thing in common: they were written backwards. The writer knew where he/she wants to finish. He/she knew the point he/she wanted to make and then he/she constructed the poem, speech, novel or screenplay back to the beginning. That's the way THE PHANTOM DOGSLED was created.

Poetry teaches you to start at the end, with the message of the poem, and then work back to the beginning. Once you know where you are going, the rest is easy.

BE PREPARED

As every Boy Scout and Girl Scout knows, you should always be prepared. When you are young, this means that you don’t go hiking in the woods without a compass, jacket, knife and some matches. It doesn’t mean that you will ever use them; but just in case something goes wrong you are prepared.

In life you will have far more failures than successes. In fact, if you have ten failures to every success, that’s about average. But it’s not the failures that count; just the successes. One success can last a lifetime.

But you cannot take advantage of a success unless you are prepared! Poetry helps you be prepared by teaching you the RULE OF FIVE. The RULE OF FIVE means that you have to be able to say everything that you want to say in five sentences.

In the old days, this was known as a ‘Elevator Talk.’ Imagine you have been trying to sell one of your paintings to the richest man in town. But you just can’t get through his wall of secretaries and administrative assistants. Then, one night, you step onto an elevator and here is your man. The elevator doors close and you have the time it takes for the elevator to reach the ground floor to sell him one of your paintings. YOU ARE ONLY GOING TO GET ONE CHANCE TO SELL HIM AND THIS IS IT.

If you are prepared, if you have been preparing yourself, all you have to do is smile and say the five sentences you have been refining for years.

Too much trouble? No one else does it? Well, tell your classes that you know of a writer – me – who will spend 300 hours writing a book and then 30 hours, 10% of that time, working on those five sentences. They have to be perfect. Every year 250,000 query letters for novels arrive in New York . If a writer wants his/her letter to stand out, it has to have five, perfect sentences to sell that novel. If the query letter is not perfect, no one is going to read the query letter. If they won't read the query letter, they are not going to read the novel.

Five-day lesson plan

Monday

Watch THE PHANTOM DOGSLED and pass out copies of the poem

Discussion Topics:

· Rhymed poetry is the oldest form of communication because in the days before writing, all poetry was spoken and it was easier to remember the lines if they rhymed. Homer’s ILIAD and ODYSSEY took days to recite and many people know every line by heart.

· Poetry in all its forms has a long history in both the Old World and New. North and South American Indians have their own ‘oral tradition.’ Alaska Natives also have Raven stories. Include them to make the discussion Alaska-specific.

· Some thoughts work best with a rhyme. The narrative style works well with rhyme while a poem of a homeless person or a deer walking through the woods would not. Discuss the differences with students.

· What is a rhyme scheme?

· Note the internal rhyme scheme in THE PHANTOM DOGSLED

· Talk about perfect rhymes and near rhymes – note that “Allakaket” is actually pronounced ‘a-la-cak-et’ but has to be mispronounced to rhyme with "west."

· Pass out the lyrics to a Woody Guthrie song and have the students see that sometimes they can ‘hear’ a rhyme that is actually not there. This I called a ‘near rhyme.’ DEPORTEE is a good example. So is DO RE MI. You could even bring in the songs on a CD and play them for the class.

Parts of THE PHANTOM DOGSLED to discuss.

1. I specifically used the Yukon River as a back drop because I wanted to use the image of something that was timeless. The Yukon River flows, never stopping, and it doesn’t matter who lives and who dies, the Yukon still flows. This is, however, a risky topic for non-Alaskans because the word Yukon is closely associated with Dawson and the Klondike Strike in the Yukon Territory of Canada.

2. I also liked the pun of “flow.” Water will flow and ice on a river will “floe.”

3. I also specifically chose the 1920s because the height of the Alaska Gold Rush was over. Those who had made it big went home with cash. The people who were left were those who were too poor to move on. They were stuck in Alaska.

4. I also wanted my characters to be real for the era. These were not Hollywood-beautiful people. They were greasy and dirty and poor. Bullyboy had lice. Sarah Jean had a ‘nose like a beak.’ And the people were so poor that when they stitched up Sarah Jean, they had to use a “needle of bone” because that was all they had.

Homework for Tuesday:

· Pass out of copy of OZYMANDIAS for students to read so they can discuss it on Tuesday. [A copy of the poem and some teaching suggestions can be found below.]

Tuesday

Discussion Topics:

· Great narrative poems are written backwards. A great poet starts with the message to be delivered and then works backwards. THE PHANTOM DOGSLED ends with a creation of the ghost. That’s where the poet wanted it to end so he constructed his poem backwards.

· Anytime you want to say something, think about how you want to FINISH your statement before you say anything. What is important is how you FINISH what you have to say; not how you start out.

· Start the discussion of OZYMANDIAS with a short talk on Ramses II. Not only was he the Pharaoh to whom Moses spoke, he was also the greatest builder of the Egyptian empire. He lived into his 90s which, in our day, would the equivalent of living to 150 years of age. [More on Ramses II below].

· The point of OZYMANDIAS is that even the greatest works of the greatest pharaoh of the greatest empire on earth are nothing before the sands of time. Everything will erode. The great king OZYMANDIAS felt that his legacy would last forever and so obvious that he didn’t have to tell anyone what he had done. All anyone had to do was look around. But nothing was left. All was gone. It was as if OZYMANDIAS had never been.

· And be sure to point out the obvious; that OZYMANDIAS is blank verse. It does not rhyme – but the message still 'gets through.'

Parts of THE PHANTOM DOGSLED to discuss.

· The ending of THE PHANTOM DOGSLED is similar. Billyboy simply disappeared. He was alive for a little more than 20 years and, poof!, in the blink of an eye he was gone. Like OZYMANDIAS there is nothing left of him.

· Note the balance in both works. With OXYMANDIAS there is the balance of 'then' and 'today' as well as the empire of stone that once was and the sand that is left today. With THE PHANTOM DOGSLED point out the different points of balance in the poem:

1. The Yukon River as a body of water that is frozen over and one that is flowing;

2. The inclusion in the poem of both Native and Non-Native characters;

3. The use of both Nakhani and Jesus giving both equal billing,

4. The weaving of the concept of life and death along with winter and spring

Homework for Wednesday:

· Read the cartoon page in the newspaper and bring the best to class.

· Pass out a copy of Edgar Allan Poe's EL DORADO. [A copy of the poem is below as well as a synopsis of the poem, the history of the term El Dorado and a short discussion of the point of the poem.]

Wednesday

Discussion Topics:

· A good poem, like a good cartoon, has perfect timing.

· A good joke is a good joke because it is told well. What that means is that grabber at the end just f-l-o-w-s into the punch line.

· If you need some examples of jokes with good timing, use Burma Shave advertising, some of which are reproduced below.

· Cartoonists would be natural as poets because they have to say everything important is as few words as possible and they have to finish with a punch. The traditional newspaper cartoon has three panels. The first one sets up the reader. The second lures the reader forward and the third delivers the punch line. A good poem does the same thing. And, like a great cartoon, the reader does not see the end of the poem coming.

· Show how EL DORADO builds to a finish in the last line. Without that last line the poem is just words; with the last line it is immortal.

Parts of THE PHANTOM DOGSLED to discuss.

· Every poem, novel, speech and movie has a critical time-frame.

· Note that the rhyme carries the poem forward but what makes it a very good poem is that it finishes with a punch. The last two lines 'make' the poem complete. They link the end of the poem with the title.

Homework for Thursday:

· Tell the students that Thursday will be 'Elevator Talk' day.

· For the best real world examples of an elevator talk, have students read the backs of paperback novels at home, the script on game boxes or the write-ups in catalogs. All are elevator talks specifically written to get the most complete information out in the fewest possible words. Tell students to bring the two or three best elevator talks they found.

· Then tell them to come up with five, perfect lines to sell a product. Tell them that the product they must sell is a framshackle – and the sale of that framshackle means one million dollars into their pocket as a sales commission.

· Tell the students to concentrate on the unique character of the framshackle, what it will do and how that will save them money.

Thursday

Discussion Topics:

· This is 'Elevator Talk' day.

· Have the students read their five lines and take comments.

· Have the students critique each of the elevator talk and then have them vote UP-OR-DOWN "Would you buy a framshackle based the five sentences you just heard?"

Homework for Friday:

· Tell students there are going to have to sell THE PHANTOM DOGSLED to a magazine for $1,000,000 in five sentences. Tell them to keep in mind that the perfect elevator talk, like the perfect poem, finishes with the strongest point.

Friday

Have students read their elevator sales pitch for THE PHANTOM DOGSLED.

Have the students critique each of the elevator talk and then have them vote UP-OR-DOWN "Would you buy a THE PHANTOM DOGSLED based on the five sentences you just heard?"

Edgar Allan Poe: El Dorado

Gaily bedight,
A gallant knight
In sunshine and in shadow,
Had journeyed long,
Singing a song,
In search of El Dorado.

But he grew old --
This knight so bold --
And -- o'er his heart a shadow
Fell as he found
No spot of ground
That looked like El Dorado.

And, as his strength
Failed him at length,
He met a pilgrim shadow --
"Shadow," said he,
"Where can it be --
This land of El Dorado?"

"Over the Mountains
Of the Moon,
Down the Valley of the Shadow,
Ride, boldly ride,"
The shade replied --
"If you seek for El Dorado."

Eldorado – or more frequently spelled El Dorado – is Spanish for “the gilded one.” Spanish conquistadores coined the term to refer to a legendary South American tribal chieftain who ruled over a fabulously rich empire. The empire had so much gold that the chief would cover his body in gold dust and dive into a lake. Thus the lake bottom was thick with gold from these dives. Though they searched far and wide for this legendary kingdom, the Spanish explorers never found it.

Edgar Allan Poe picked up the imagery of El Dorado to symbolize the individual human being's eternal search for that which he/she desires most: wealth, fame, approval of one's peers, etc. But no one ever achieves the goal because it keeps shifting. If the person who only wants one million dollars gets one million dollars, he/she will want ten. If he/she gets ten, they will want fifty. No one is ever satisfied with the goal achieved. They want more. Thus, as Edgar Allan Poe stated in his poem, you will keep riding forever to achieve your dream for it is unattainable.

There is a corollary to this concept, however. It is expressed in the adage and you should always 'shoot for the moon' because, if you miss, 'you will still be among the stars.'

OZYMANDIAS

I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them on the sand,
Half sunk, a shatter'd visage lies, whose frown
And wrinkled lip and sneer of cold command
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamp'd on these lifeless things,
The hand that mock'd them and the heart that fed.
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

OZYMANDIAS is a sonnet written by Percy Bysshe Shelley in 1818. It is probably Shelley's most famous poem. The central theme of the sonnet is the inevitable decline of all men, and of the empires they build, however mighty they were in their own time.

In his day, Ramses II was the most powerful man on the planet. His reign lasted 66 years – 1279 to 1213 BCE – and he was about 26 when he became Pharaoh. In those days, a 45-year old person was OLD. In his day, Ramses II was known as one of the greatest builders in antiquity. Today he is known as the Pharaoh to whom Moses said, through Aaron, to 'Let my People go.' His best known stonework is his great temple at Abu Simbel, pictured below.

WHERE DO I GO FROM HERE?

Over the past week you have introduced your students to rhymed poetry, blank verse, the sonnet, Edgar Allan Poe and Percy Bysshe Shelley. But where do you go from here? Here are some suggested directions of travel:

Rhyme

If you wanted to continue with rhyme, I would suggest you introduce your students to Shakespeare. The sonnet I would use – and I would emphasize the word sonnet because Shakespeare popularized the style – is #18, "Shall I Compare Thee," reproduced below. It has a tight rhyme scheme, is the idealized construction for a sonnet and has as close to a perfect finish as you will find. For me, this sonnet is an excellent teaching tool because every word in the sonnet is necessary. And every word is the best word for that sentence.

Moving in this direction also gives you the chance to introduce the plays of Shakespeare. My recommendation is that you start with select quotes from Shakespearean plays rather than assign the students HAMLET or JULIUS CEASAR as homework. I'd recommend an introduction to HAMLET with three passages that 'link' Shakespeare era with ours, lines that are timeless. The passages I would use are the speech of Polonius to Laertes [Neither a borrower or lender be], Hamlet's soliloquy [To be or not to be] and where is Polonius? The first gives you a chance to talk about how parental advice is the same regardless of the era. The second allows you to talk about how young people are constantly considering suicide and how it is 'not the answer' and the third gives you the opportunity to link Shakespeare to Martin Luther – which will make the history instructor happy.

If you wanted poem with a more 'current' appeal, I'd suggest the BATTLE HYM OF THE REPUBLIC, THIS LAND IS YOUR LAND or RIME OF THE ANCIENT MARINER. For fun, I'd suggest THE JABBERWOCKY (reproduced below). For a touch of the mystic, KUBLA KHAN ( reproduced below). For the absurd, Odgen Nash.

BLANK VERSE

If you want to continue with blank verse, you might want to start out a bit more modern – primarily because there is not that much blank verse in the early history of poetry.

Some of the best blank verse comes from what is called the Beatnik generation. I would start with Allen Ginsberg's HOWL and just about any poem by Lawrence Ferlinghetti. Gary Snyder is a good follow-up. Moving back in history, you might want to consider E. E. Cummings, T. S. Eliot or Emily Dickenson. Dickenson's "Go Not Too Near A House of Rose" – reproduced below – is a good poem to use to illustrate the point that sometimes too close an inspection ruins something. Some paintings, like Picasso's "Guernica" or Octavio Campo’s “Visions of Quixote" require distance to appreciate. I'd use these paintings to show that there is more to 'seeing' than just how close you are to the artwork.

HISTORICAL

If you wanted to take your students on an historical journey through the world of literature, you could start with Shelley and mention that his wife, Mary Shelley, was the author of FRANKENSTEIN. Then you could bring up Lord Byron and discuss the Canto. For a good example of the canto and one in which every word is the right word and none can be replaced, I'd recommend CANTO IV, #179, reproduced below. Coleridge is good and has been mentioned above and Lewis Carroll is a great way to end a tough week on a light note. Chaucer is a middle-of-the-week artist because the language is ancient. Matthew Arnold's DOVER BEACH is not for light reading but can be worth the effort if you spend quality time with your students. The same is true of Robert Frost and Carl Sandberg. The latter two produced shorter works but they are just as cerebral as Arnold.

FUN

For fun, I'd go with Ogden Nash (any), Lewis Carroll (any), Alfred Noyes "Daddy Fell into the Pond," Louisa May Alcott "Song from the Suds," Edward Lear (any), T. S. Eliot "Gus the Theater Cat" or, if you are looking for a period piece, try Bret Harte's "Plain Language from Truthful James" or "The Heathen Chinee." (To save you time, I have reproduced some of these below.)

William Shakespeare

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate.
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date.
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st;
Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st:
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

GO NOT TOO NEAR A HOUSE OF ROSE

Go not too near a House of Rose —
The depredation of a Breeze —
Or inundation of a Dew
Alarms its walls away —

Nor try to tie the Butterfly,
Nor climb the Bars of Ecstasy,
In insecurity to lie
Is Joy's insuring quality.

THE HEATHEN CHINEE

By Bret Harte

Which I wish to remark,
And my language is plain,
That for ways that are dark
And for tricks that are vain,
The heathen Chinee is peculiar,
Which the same I would rise to explain.

Ah Sin was his name;
And I shall not deny,
In regard to the same,
What that name might imply;
But his smile it was pensive and childlike,
As I frequent remarked to Bill Nye.

It was August the third,
And quite soft was the skies;
Which it might be inferred
That Ah Sin was likewise;
Yet he played it that day upon William
And me in a way I despise.

Which we had a small game,
And Ah Sin took a hand:
It was Euchre. The same
He did not understand;
But he smiled as he sat by the table,
With the smile that was childlike and bland.

Yet the cards they were stocked
In a way that I grieve,
And my feelings were shocked
At the state of Nye's sleeve,
Which was stuffed full of aces and bowers,
And the same with intent to deceive.

But the hands that were played
By that heathen Chinee,
And the points that he made,
Were quite frightful to see, --
Till at last he put down a right bower,
Which the same Nye had dealt unto me.

Then I looked up at Nye,
And he gazed upon me;
And he rose with a sigh,
And said, "Can this be?
We are ruined by Chinese cheap labor," --
And he went for that heathen Chinee.

In the scene that ensued
I did not take a hand,
But the floor it was strewed
Like the leaves on the strand
With the cards that Ah Sin had been hiding,
In the game "he did not understand."

In his sleeves, which were long,
He had twenty-four packs, --
Which was coming it strong,
Yet I state but the facts;
And we found on his nails, which were taper,
What is frequent in tapers, -- that's wax.

Which is why I remark,
And my language is plain,
That for ways that are dark
And for tricks that are vain,
The heathen Chinee is peculiar, --
Which the same I am free to maintain.

THE BALLAD OF TRUTHFUL JAMES

By Bret Harte

I reside at Table Mountain, and my name is Truthful James; 
I am not up to small deceit, or any sinful games; 
And I'll tell in simple language what I know about the row 
That broke up our Society upon the Stanislow.

But first I would remark, that it is not a proper plan 
For any scientific gent to whale his fellow-man, 
And, if a member don't agree with his peculiar whim, 
To lay for that same member for to "put a head" on him.

Now nothing could be finer or more beautiful to see 
Than the first six months' proceedings of that same Society, 
'till Brown of Calaveras brought a lot of fossil bones 
That he found within a tunnel near the tenement of Jones.

Then Brown he read a paper, and he reconstructed there, 
From those same bones, an animal that was extremely rare; 
And Jones then asked the Chair for a suspension of the rules, 
'till he could prove that those same bones was one of his lost mules.

Then Brown he smiled a bitter smile, and said he was at fault, 
It seemed he had been trespassing on Jones's family vault; 
He was a most sarcastic man, this quiet Mr. Brown, 
And on several occasions he had cleaned out the town.

Now I hold it is not decent for a scientific gent 
To say another is an ass, - at least, to all intent; 
Nor should the individual who happens to be meant 
Reply by heaving rocks at him, to any great extent.

Then Abner Dean of Angel's raised a point of order, when 
A chunk of old red sandstone took him in the abdomen, 
And he smiled a kind of sickly smile, and curled up on the floor, 
And the subsequent proceedings interested him no more.

For, in less time than I write it, every member did engage 
In a warfare with the remnants of the palaeozoic age; 
And the way they heaved those fossils in their anger was a sin, 
Till the skull of an old mammoth caved the head of Thompson in.

And this is all I have to say of these improper games, 
For I live at Table Mountain, and my name is Truthful James; 
And I've told in simple language what I knew about the row 
That broke up our Society upon the Stanislow.

THE POBBLE WHO HAS NO TOES

By Edward Lear

The Pobble who has no toes
Had once as many as we;
When they said "Some day you may lose them all;"
He replied "Fish, fiddle-de-dee!"
And his Aunt Jobiska made him drink
Lavender water tinged with pink,
For she said "The World in general knows
There's nothing so good for a Pobble's toes!"

The Pobble who has no toes
Swam across the Bristol Channel;
But before he set out he wrapped his nose
In a piece of scarlet flannel.
For his Aunt Jobiska said "No harm
Can come to his toes if his nose is warm;
And it's perfectly known that a Pobble's toes
Are safe, -- provided he minds his nose!"

The Pobble swam fast and well,
And when boats or ships came near him,
He tinkledy-blinkledy-winkled a bell,
So that all the world could hear him.
And all the Sailors and Admirals cried,
When they saw him nearing the further side -
"He has gone to fish for his Aunt Jobiska's
Runcible Cat with crimson whiskers!"

But before he touched the shore,
The shore of the Bristol Channel,
A sea-green porpoise carried away
His wrapper of scarlet flannel.
And when he came to observe his feet,
Formerly garnished with toes so neat,
His face at once became forlorn,
On perceiving that all his toes were gone!

And nobody ever knew,
From that dark day to the present,
Whoso had taken the Pobble's toes,
In a manner so far from pleasant.
Whether the shrimps, or crawfish grey,
Or crafty Mermaids stole them away -
Nobody knew: and nobody knows
How the Pobble was robbed of his twice five toes!

The Pobble who has no toes
Was placed in a friendly Bark,
And they rowed him back, and carried him up
To his Aunt Jobiska's Park.
And she made him a feast at his earnest wish
Of eggs and buttercups fried with fish, -
And she said "It's a fact the whole world knows,
That Pobbles are happier without their toes!"

	     FATHER
WILLIAMS

Lewis Carroll

"OU are old, Father William," the young man said,

"And your hair has become very white;

And yet you incessantly stand on your head--

Do you think, at your age, it is right?"

"In my youth," Father William replied to his son,

"I feared it might injure the brain;

But, now that I'm perfectly sure I have none,

Why, I do it again and again."

"You are old," said the youth, "as I mentioned before,

And have grown most uncommonly fat;

Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door--

Pray, what is the reason of that?"

"In my youth," said the sage, as he shook his gray locks,

"I kept all my limbs very supple

By the use of this ointment -- one shilling the box --

Allow me to sell you a couple?"

"You are old," said the youth, "and your jaws are too weak

For anything tougher than suet;

Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak--

Pray, how did you manage to do it?"

"In my youth," said his father, "I took to the law,

And argued each case with my wife;

And the muscular strength which it gave to my jaw

Has lasted the rest of my life."

"You are old," said the youth, "one would hardly suppose

That your eye was as steady as ever;

Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose--

What made you so awfully clever?"

"I have answered three questions, and that is enough,"

Said his father; "don't give yourself airs!

Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?

Be off, or I'll kick you down-stairs!"

Jabberwocky

by Lewis Carroll

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wade;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"

He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought --
So rested he by the Tumtum tree.
And stood awhile in thought.

And as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came wiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

"And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!"
He chortled in his joy.

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

KUBLA KHAN

By Samuel Coleridge

In Xanadu did Kubla Khan
A stately pleasure-dome decree :
Where Alph, the sacred river, ran
Through caverns measureless to man

Down to a sunless sea.

So twice five miles of fertile ground
With walls and towers were girdled round :
And there were gardens bright with sinuous rills,
Where blossomed many an incense-bearing tree ;
And here were forests ancient as the hills,
Enfolding sunny spots of greenery.

But oh ! that deep romantic chasm which slanted
Down the green hill athwart a cedarn cover !
A savage place ! as holy and enchanted
As e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted
By woman wailing for her demon-lover !
And from this chasm, with ceaseless turmoil seething,
As if this earth in fast thick pants were breathing,
A mighty fountain momently was forced :
Amid whose swift half-intermitted burst
Huge fragments vaulted like rebounding hail,
Or chaffy grain beneath the thresher's flail :
And 'mid these dancing rocks at once and ever
It flung up momently the sacred river.
Five miles meandering with a mazy motion
Through wood and dale the sacred river ran,
Then reached the caverns measureless to man,
And sank in tumult to a lifeless ocean :
And 'mid this tumult Kubla heard from far
Ancestral voices prophesying war !

The shadow of the dome of pleasure
Floated midway on the waves ;
Where was heard the mingled measure
From the fountain and the caves.

It was a miracle of rare device,
A sunny pleasure-dome with caves of ice !

A damsel with a dulcimer
In a vision once I saw :
It was an Abyssinian maid,
And on her dulcimer she played,
Singing of Mount Abora.
Could I revive within me
Her symphony and song,
To such a deep delight 'twould win me,

That with music loud and long.
I would build that dome in air,
That sunny dome ! those caves of ice !
And all who heard should see them there,
And all should cry, Beware ! Beware !
His flashing eyes, his floating hair !
Weave a circle round him thrice,
And close your eyes with holy dread,
For he on honey-dew hath fed,
And drunk the milk of Paradise.

GEORGE GORDON, LORD BYRON

Canto IV, #179

Roll on, thou deep and dark blue Ocean — roll!
Ten thousand fleets sweep over thee in vain;
Man marks the earth with ruin — his control
Stops with the shore; — upon the watery plain
The wrecks are an thy deed, nor doth remain
A shadow of man's ravage, save his own,
When, for a moment, like a drop of rain,
He sinks into thy depths with bubbling groan —
Without a grave - unkenned, uncoffined, and unknown. . . .

A SAMPLING OF BURMA SHAVE

· Every shaver / Now can snore / Six more minutes / Than before / By using / Burma-Shave

· Your shaving brush / Has had its day / So why not / Shave the modern way / With / Burma-Shave

· Shaving brushes / You'll soon see 'em / On the shelf / In some / Museum / Burma-Shave

· Does your husband / Misbehave / Grunt and grumble / Rant and rave / Shoot the brute some / Burma-Shave

· A shave / That's real / No cuts to heal / A soothing / Velvet after-feel / Burma-Shave

· Within this vale / Of toil / And sin / Your head grows bald / But not your chin - use / Burma-Shave

· Train approaching / Whistle squealing / Stop / Avoid that run-down feeling / Burma-Shave

· Keep well / To the right / Of the oncoming car / Get your close shaves / From the half pound jar / Burma-Shave

· You've laughed / At our signs / For many a mile / Be a sport / Give us a trial / Burma-Shave

· If harmony / Is what / You crave / Then get / A tuba / Burma-Shave

· Don't take a curve / at 60 per / we hate to lose / a customer / Burma-Shave

· Hardly a driver / Is now alive / Who passed / On hills / At 75 / Burma-Shave

· Past / Schoolhouses / Take it slow / Let the little / Shavers grow / Burma-Shave

· If you dislike / Big traffic fines / Slow down / Till you / Can read these signs / Burma-Shave

· It's best for / One who hits / The bottle / To let another / Use the throttle / Burma-Shave

· Don't stick / Your elbow / Out so far / It might go home / In another car / Burma-Shave

· At intersections / Look each way / A harp sounds nice / But it's / Hard to play / Burma-Shave

· Broken romance / Stated fully / She went wild / When he / Went wooly / Burma Shave

· Don't lose / Your head / To gain a minute / You need your head / Your brains are in it / Burma-Shave

· I use it too / The bald man said / It keeps my face / Just like / My head / Burma-Shave

· My job is / Keeping faces clean / And nobody knows / De stubble / I've seen / Burma-Shave

· Her chariot / Race 80 per / They hauled away / What had / Ben Hur / Burma-Shave

· Pedro / Walked / Back home, by golly / His bristly chin / Was hot-to-Molly / Burma-Shave (repeated in 1963)

· The wolf / Is shaved / So neat and trim / Red Riding Hood / Is chasing him / Burma-Shave

· Missin' / Kissin'? / Perhaps your thrush / Can't get thru / The underbrush — try / Burma-Shave

· A chin / Where barbed wire / Bristles stand / Is bound to be / A no ma'ams land / Burma-Shave

· Dinah doesn't / Treat him right / But if he'd / Shave / Dyna-mite! / Burma-Shave

· The monkey took / One look at Jim / And threw the peanuts / Back at him / He needed / Burma-Shave

· Said Farmer Brown / Who's bald / On top / Wish I could / Rotate the crop / Burma-Shave

· This cooling shave / Will never fail / To stamp / Its user / First-class male / Burma-Shave

· Don't / Try passing / On a slope / Unless you have / A periscope / Burma-Shave

· If daisies / Are your / Favorite flower / Keep pushin' up those / Miles per hour / Burma-Shave

· He lit a match / To check gas tank / That's why / They call him / Skinless Frank / Burma Shave

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